When we were dating my wife and I couldn’t spend enough time together. Times apart felt like forever.
Then we got married.
Something about being together 24/7/365 brought out our glaring differences. Not only in personality but interests.
I enjoyed skiing, sailing, hiking, boating. Her main outside activity was ping pong with her family on Sunday afternoons.
I enjoyed working on and driving classic cars and hot rods. She enjoyed gardening.
I enjoyed playing sports. She enjoyed watching sports.
I enjoyed car shows. She enjoyed the symphony and ballet.
Soon we realized for our marriage to work we needed a strategy.
She learned to ski and sail. I played ping pong and learned how to lose gracefully.
She learned to appreciate classic cars and hot rods. I worked in the garden and kind of enjoyed it.
I played sports. Sometimes, she’d watch.
She went with me to car shows. I went with her to the symphony and ballet.
Yet, we also did one other important thing.
We gave each other space to enjoy those things without the other.
I raced sailboats. She went to garden shows.
I work on our classic cars in our back garage. She putters in our garden.
I go to car shows with buddies. She goes to the ballet with friends.
I have friends at Rotary. She has friends in her guild for the local children’s hospital.
I go to my office most days. She works in her home office most days.
Then at the end of the day, we take our evening walk, catch up on life and enjoy being together again.
And are thankful we married someone who is different because of the richness of life that brings.
You’ll build a close marriage not as you do everything together but as you give space for your differences.
