I am that daughter in-law. But I could change Mil to some extent by time.
Initially, we will be invited to a function or gathering. Once I land there immediately I will be handed over the kitchen and entire responsibilities.
For some health reasons my elder co sister won’t do any work. Younger one does not know our style of cooking since she is from another state. Her style of food preparations are different. Which my MGM lion( Mil) never likes.
All of them will enter kitchen. Then suddenly they remember so many works. I am left in the kitchen.
It’s my habit to carry my ownbag full of ration where ever I go. But it will be emptied by every one and not allowed to replace. So many times I left hungry.
However clean I keep the house. Within few days it will be scattered,and left dirty, because cleanliness is not that priority to them.
One more thing every one, especially sons are given beds, bedsheets, every thing. Dils are left to their fate. On floor with mat, or just with one bedsheet. Wherever we get little place there we have to adjust among lot of mosquitoes. We are not allowed to take rest at day time.
Since we go for a few days every one expect we should adjust. Our Husbands are her sons first. So obviously they don’t find any problem.Only Dils face problem but she doesn’t care! My Fil is too good to speak any thing!!
So I can’t skip or escape going. It will become a big issue again if I don’t go.
I can’t stay like this also . This is my family but needs some over hauling. So, first thing what I do immediately after reaching there is, cleaning the house and kitchen. It takes so much time. I keep it in such a way while cleaning and clearing everything , no one could dare to ask me prepare any thing. Because so much dirt, trash, oily the kitchen will be. Then I so loudly wonder and say to my Mil ‘No human can stay in this ! Since you are old you could not do! Poor thing ! you are suffering like this. I can understand. Now I am here to clean and help you! Don’t worry!
I know she will be grinding her teeth! And starts her bullets! ‘How fussy I am! Blah blah. But I have my song ready in my mind ‘ Brown girl in the rain! Tra la la la!!’ nothing will enter!! Hehe!
I know without timely coffee and food they can’t stay. Sons are forced to get it from outside, which is not at all tasty. I don’t require coffee and all. One biscuit packet is enough for my survival. Controlling my smile so seriously I start cleaning the mess. Obviously my lioness will be watching with impatience. She can’t blame and say anything to me since I am cleaning her messy kitchen only. I laugh at my heart like ‘Taataki’!!! ( Demon) oohhahaha!!
After three doses of this medicine, before I go there ,she hires some one ,kitchen will be cleaned and kept ready. She doesn’t take risk with me!! I am a cleaning queen. Typical virgo. Can’t even step on and tolerate anything messy. She can’t forego her filter coffee and fav break fast and lunch for two days continuously !!
I started taking my own bedsheets and pillows, mats every thing. I made it clear to my husband .I should be provided those otherwise should be allowed to take.
Infront of everyone when I landed with a full bedding house she felt insulted. Roared!! ‘Where should I keep? Take back while going back!’
So patiently I carried them up and down for few times, much to the amusement of others. I told her I Will buy and keep there. She said “no’! I offered to leave mine ,she said she doesn’t want any charity.
Then slowly her sisters and all started talking ‘her daughter in law is not provided even bed or bed sheets! Poor girl! All the way from Bangalore she will bring !!
It pricked her. She allowed me to buy and keep few spares and extra. La la la la!
I deliberately cook at a slow pace and they are forced to help. I so innocently suggest they can’t withstand hunger, so shall I get it from outside? They worry about the quality and taste of the food and huge bill. So they hurry to help me. I don’t say anything harsh. Just this is my style to set things right.
Like this… one by one!!
Escaping is not my policy. I don’t like to be blamed when there is no fault of mine. I won’t give up so easily. In this if little rift is about to come ,let it be!!
Now I am also a branch of that tree after marriage. Timely pruning, pesticide spraying, removing dry leaves, pouring timely water is my duty. Otherwise tree will be dying. Then where new branches and leaves grow?
I am now a Mil. If Dil is not willing to come to me, being head of the family it’s my responsibility to find out what is her problem. Just simply I can’t blame her. She is new entry to my house ,so it’s my duty to accommodate her and responsibility to provide her all the necessary things. Then only she can become my family. Later she will take the responsibility from me to look after the family.
I will do my level best at first then only I will leave it on fate. Because a good healthy relationship between Mil and Dil is essential and beneficial for the entire family.