Columnists Perspective Spirituality

The Gantt Report – Shame and Pride

By Lucius Gantt

     Almost every woman that wants a man wants a man that loves them,  cares about them, protects them and provides for them.

     They want all of that but only in the way that they want it!

      If everything isn’t done in their way, the woman will seek to end the marriage, relationship or friendship.

     However, before the collapse, a controlling woman will contact her family, call her girlfriends and alert her coworkers to comment on the man she was once with saying, “I give him a lot of money, sex on demand, and I help him whenever I want to!”

       She neglects to talk about what the man did or what they did together. Diamond rings, personal security, expensive dinners, flowers, cards, employment advice and business assistance and the man’s willingness to eat cat food, for instance, means nothing!

      Any relation is “a team”! Couples should work together and if a relation sours, it is the team’s fault.

     Shame and pride, if realized wrongly, can hurt women and men. Each one of us struggles with pride in life! Sadly, many of us do not realize the potential that waits for us if we just let go of our pride and move forward in God’s plan. In fact, the Bible goes so far as to warn us that God hates the sin of pride and will discipline the proud! Let us not see ourselves as “wise in our own eyes” but let us become humble and willing to learn from God and others! 

     The Bible talks a lot about pride. In Galatians 6-4, the Bible says, “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to other people.”

     Isaiah 2-12 says, “The Lord Almighty has a day in store for all the proud and lofty, for all that is exalted (and they will be humbled)”.

    Proverbs 8-13 says, “To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.”

     Proverbs 13-10 says, “Where there is strife, there is pride but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

       And, Proverbs 16-18 says “The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.”      

       I could go on, there are at least 30 verses in the Bible about pride, but I won’t.

      I’ll just say spouses, couples and partners will find it difficult to reconcile and atone in relationships when their man or woman is too proud to reconsider and reunite if one person is too proud to tell their friends and family they changed their mind and are going to try to fix the marriage or relationship.

      Don’t let your pride stop you from understanding your role in any problems that occurred in a relationship.

      According to reggae superstars, “The Mighty Diamonds”, “Shame and Pride can kill you girl!”

      Pride shown by people who have little or no personal experience in being in a truly loving relationship that had more ups than downs will never understand or try to understand the importance of relationship longevity or how male love and female love are both love but can’t imagine how love can change, grow or be different.

     Instead of “ride or die”, too many of us run and hide!